A Kind Face – a play on the ‘Backseat’ Urban Legend

This is a sick joke, right officer?
God, I really need to get home.
I work a shitty job, you know. And – what is it now – It’s 2.04 in the morning and I have to be back in at 8.30 for my next shift. So, thanks. Thanks a lot!

Just kidding. But I’m not going to get my recommended eight hours sleep tonight, eh? Sorry, I shouldn’t make fun. This is serious. I haven’t slept eight hours straight in ten years anyway.

You start flashing your flights and siren and make me pull over for “my safety” and yet you won’t tell me what it’s about or what it is I’m supposed to be afraid of – just that you’ve had a report of a disturbance up ahead and that that I should wait with you. What was it – an accident? Has someone been killed? You don’t even know, do you?

Sorry for droning on but I’m tired. It’s late, it’s pitch black outside and I was driving home just fine. I’ve driven on this road at this time of night a thousand times. And yet you insisted I sit with you a while in your squad car.

At least it’s warm in here. The heating in my car has been broken for ages. Normally I’d be a bit wary about being pulled over in the middle of the night but you have a kind face and, what am I going to do, speed off when a policeman flags me down? No siree, I don’t need that hassle.

I wonder how long I’ll have to sit here; it’s not like I’m even under arrest.

The babysitter is going to freak if I’m much longer. She’s nice. It’s just me and my daughter now. My ex disappeared soon after he began having issues about me being pregnant which was, as you can imagine, charming of him. He regretted it eventually but it was too late. There are some things you just can’t un-do.

Okay, that’s enough. Your radio has been quiet for a while now so I don’t think anybody else is going to show up. I really must get going. It’s been …energising.

That look in your eye – when I grasped your hair back and dug the blade of the knife into your throat and slowly pulled it across – that look will stay with me. I saw you looking at me in the rear view mirror.  Eyes wide. The horror. Sitting here, feeling your icky warmth on my hand as you bled out over your uniform was a beautiful thing.
But it really is time I left.

You made a silly mistake. If you’re going to invite a stranger to sit in the backseat of your car you really should consider the potential consequences. Maybe it’s because I too have a kind face that you didn’t feel the need to pat me down or cuff me.  It’s an error you won’t repeat – one of the hundreds and hundreds of life mistakes I’ve saved you from.

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